raven0us

So here’s what happened. | May 5, 2011


So here’s what happened.

I was walking through life, whistlin’… feelin’ the wind in my sails. I was spinning and dancing and singing and then I fell and the floor gave way and I fell further and I didn’t mind much. It didn’t hurt ‘cause I didn’t hit anything. At first my pillowy, billowy skirt caught air and fluffed my fall, if you will. It seemed kinda nice, I’d say. “I don’t really *need* to fly, I reasoned. Falling felt fine. It could suffice.” Besides, someone was behind me asking me to open my eyes. Were they falling too?

Then the falling started to feel cramped and unequal.

Perhaps I was too deep inside the earth because oxygen felt thin. Then I hit something in a rage from lack of air, my arms flailing and my cheeks steaming.  My skirt ripped and I couldn’t be fluffed any further. No wind. No sails. I started choking and screaming and though there were others around with ropes and nets… with all I needed… they had turned to stone. It’s not their fault they were fossilized under pressure. The soil around me begged for complete sentences, for articulation, for solutions! But I just kept hitting things, becoming weaker with every altercation. I closed my eyes and attempted to catch my breath, concentrating on learning to fly.

“I know I can fly. I know I can fly.”

But people don’t fly.

I started grabbing aimlessly. I hastily clawed at the statues begging them to wake up. I pulled some down with me. I lashed harder. I lashed harder. Statues began hitting me too as they fell from above.

At one point we grew reluctantly comfortable with our falling and we circled up.

“Consensus time!” I thought, “We’ll find a solution.”

But the imagined wings from attempted flights turned to fingers pointing and jabbing. Why figure out how to stop falling when we can figure out who’s to blame for it?

The circle turned into a gnarled ball and we all dispersed. Our heads hurt. Our hearts hurt. We were all confused.

We were so upset most didn’t realize we were still falling. They pretended to walk in place and insisted there was ground below feet. Progress after process.

“Let’s not look back at this inconvenience of a conflict!” They all screamed. “We’ve got a mission here! After all, who made us start falling?”

One by one, people started grabbing roots for comfort. Sure the roots were misplaced and the there was no road forward, but there is comfort in stability.

“I don’t need this. I can find someone who isn’t falling. I deserve someone who isn’t falling! This wind is exhuasting.”

but where are the people who aren’t falling? are they on top?

JUST STOP, you know?

Soon there was no one left.

But I just keep falling.

I’ve got to get to the bottom of all of this.

See you when your roots break.

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2 Comments »

  1. Hello, it’s Abigail! I love this entry. It has a parable I can relate too. I feel like I am falling in life, or whatever, and people around me are asleep falling, won’t wake up. My favorite part is when you all circled up and for a moment you thought there was a break through. Is there hope? Thanks for sharing.

    Comment by abigailhenderson — May 5, 2011 @ 1:59 am

  2. I Love you. Fucking. Beautiful. I am sorry I didn’t start reading your blog sooner. I don’t know if I knew you had one. Whatever, Monday Night/Tuesday Morning is as good a time as any to start. Anyway, Fucking Beautiful, I Love you.

    (Aside: It is really interesting reading archive posts on this, and, without looking at the date posted, knowing when one was written, by remembering text conversations we have shared in times of mutual weakness and/or mutual strength, or, when one was feeling weak, and the other feeling strong. You are Ever my stone, as I am Ever yours. With eternal love, Dan[of Philly]iel James Henry Martin)

    (second Aside: I can’t wait to spend my 23rd birthday with you.)

    Comment by Dan [of Philly, of Course] — May 24, 2011 @ 7:56 am


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