raven0us

Contemplating interpersonal collapse. Open Discussion. | August 30, 2011


I have referenced in this blog my attempt to create dialogue around interpersonal collapse. The time has come. the discussion is on the Denver Free School calendar. It is scheduled for this
Thursday at 7pm at The Kaleidoscope House 1409 Columbine St.
I am unsure how to promote such a discussion. I hope for people to show because this talk is dangerous in the sense that many of us would have to step outside of our comfort zones in order to enter into this dialogue. I have few expectations. I know the likelihoods of me sitting alone waiting. I comprehend the justice of that reality coming to fruition. (I, the skilled bridge burner, initiating such a talk?)
So I will let you know what’s true for me right now. That is my promotion.
I hold hope in creating this space.
I see strength in all of us, this whole compartmentalized “community”, sitting and simply letting communication flow. The way this discussion is structured feels safe because it has the ability to be regulated by all individuals participating. There is a lot of facing ourselves that would be unavoidable.
I feel centered yet scared.
In the center of my stomach is a knot. It is tied by the judgments I have made. The stances I have made against individuals and groups. There are days when I fiercely stand behind all of my decisions and there are days I morn my failures and transgressions. This feels universal to all of us, which may be an assumption.
There was a point where I personally planned to call an individual out and debate our realities because I felt suffocated and restricted by this person’s large, bold reality. When I did this, I was confronted by this person and some of those that love them. There was resistance and I sat and considered my motivations around calling this person out. I admit and own how this targeting was an attempt to seize some kind of control in defense of my reality. I acknowledge how, though this may sometimes be legitimate for maintaining ones personal voice, this could more so compromise the person I was target-ing’s passions and goals than it would be effective toward the larger pictures goals.
There are a couple(thousands of) different kinds of work wrapped up in this “movement” so many of us gravitate towards. There is the concrete, bunker down and go to meetings work. Then there is the fluid, emotion based, intuition driven magic side of work. Both equally necessary and valid. Black Mask & Up Against the Wall Mother Fucker beside Anarchist Black Cross, if you will.
A strength of approaching conflict in this way is that it is a place of commonalities through conflict as apposed to blame or shame placing. We all know who we are pissed at within our bubbles. We know who we’d like to fight. We know who relations come easy with. And we could be satisfied with that reality. Those comforts. Those divides. Or we could hope for more and not be crippled by the way we harm each other with our internalized colonization, domestication and just plain unhealthy habits.
Right now,  so many aspects of our work are undeniably crippled and weakened.

 

I want to be called out. I want to see us facing ourselves. I want steps forward that smash through these walls that limit us.
I am not right. I am not wrong. I have no answers.
Conflict and interpersonal collapse prove to be a constant in our world.
Chaos is an element in and of itself. It can not be eliminated from any equation and I realize how it creates nervousness and fear in a forum such as this. Let’s swallow fear together to be stronger in the streets and everywhere. If all of our hopes come to reality, we will be shoulder to shoulder again. All of us.
We have to do what scares us.
Please come and join this discussion.
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3 Comments »

  1. Is this happening every Thursday?

    I ask because I don’t think I could come for a few weeks, but I think I may be able to down the line a bit.

    I agree that creating intentional space to have conversations like this is REALLY important. These conversations should be happening and should be ongoing. I’ve never said I didn’t want them to happen, I just wanted intentional time and space as well as voluntary association. When the intentional space is set all of us can continue our work at the same time as these conversations take place- and that is important too.

    Good luck and I hope you won’t be alone this Thursday.

    Comment by Josie — August 30, 2011 @ 9:42 pm

    • It is the first Thursday of every month. Thank you for your kind words.

      Comment by raven0us — August 30, 2011 @ 9:53 pm

  2. Diplomacy

    The mission of Hillcrest High School
    is to educate all students
    to become:
    positive, productive citizens
    equipped to meet the challenges of today’s
    global society

    So says the primitive people
    sitting in single-window columns
    strapped with positive I.D. tags
    used as chicken finger currency.
    Daring not to produce digits of their own,
    fearing raised mid-drift seekers condemnation

    from a masterless liege fondling flags and degrees across their hearts
    opposing, troop tax cutting in the guise of freedom.
    Pricking ear drums, injecting bones,
    beating patriotic dictation
    mirroring the gritty self-seeking american identity-
    serving masses marketing to haggle attention during blank deficiency.

    Following, a voice
    scans cemented cinderblocks posing as
    walls through spaghetti strainer intercoms
    hole-punched plainly beneath moistening fiberboard ceiling tiles
    announcing, unlike faculty, stragglers
    are victim to the red- or was it blue? bus line crowding.

    Concluding reviews momentarily silence homeroom in a tinfoil wrapping.
    A sightless pause grumbles atop the tallest stair step
    like the stomach of a grizzly clawing
    a final sunken paw into migrating salmon riverwater;
    slicing a desperate last meal from fin to scale
    aching against winter’s slumbering appetite.

    Curious enough
    youthful openminds rudely examine crisscross fingernails
    and frenchkissing lashes, marginally a counterpart function
    tally marking shuteye observers
    popularly branded stitching frontpocket blouses
    framing class mate elite pictures. A moose and goose preparation.

    Click.
    Counting heads position attentive pupils
    to a transparent square glare projection
    of textbook reflections,
    comparing last night’s multiple choice homework corrections
    assess assignments to standard number two pencil quizzes

    concerned primarily
    with bubbling the measure of name and dates
    where strictly girls and boys- regardless if black, islander, freckled or of non-white hispanic descent,
    blindly present indoctrinated eligibilities limiting future investment
    by planting scores of scholars underneath raw cut production
    assembling material roots into woven measuring stripes flapping presumptuous glory

    Comment by gadburya — September 6, 2011 @ 9:03 am


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